Thursday, January 28, 2010

AT&T To Fix Network For iPad?


This is the kind of press you want:

Stop lying, fudging and avoiding service problems. Simply say you're spending tons of money to fix (or make better) your network. Even if it isn't true, this is what customers want to hear. Customers are either happy with AT&T service (so they don't care if you fix it) or they are unhappy (and want to hear it's being fixed). Whether it's better than Verizon or some study shows it's really great doesn't matter if you can't get a signal in your building. Service your customers either with a good network, or the promise it will be fixed soon. And then if you must slip in information about how it really is better than most other choices, fine.

Since it appears, for now, we iPhone users are stuck with you, here are some other tips on PR so you can at least stop annoying us more than is necessary:

1. Keep a lid on your execs spouting about data hogs and the need to raise prices. Data hogs are your best customers. Will people who use their iPads a lot also be data hogs? And no one believes your execs when they say that raising prices on some people will mean others will pay less. So just knock it off. Either raise prices or not. Don't hint at it.

2. Stop trying to blame imaginary iPhone hardware problems for your network. The iPhone is where most of AT&T's profits come from. So fix your network to work with it or shut up. I really will bitch slap someone if I buy an iPad and later read a planted press piece that the reason I can't get a decent 3G connection for $30 a month is because it was badly designed.

3. Treat iPhone customers the way they should be treated, as your platinum clients. Send us a nice e-mail talking about how you appreciate us and how valuable we are to you. Throw us a freebee now then then like some fun Apps or content. Maybe even a free week of service or cut the ridiculous charges for texting. Treat us like you don't want us to jump ship the minute we have an alternative carrier.

4. Stop floating anti-net neutrality politics in the press. Stop trying to fool us into thinking that if you aren't regulated you won't try to fuck us. We aren't stupid. Have the decency to fuck us behind closed doors by paying off politicians. And then keep quiet about it. I want to enjoy Jon Stewart clips on the Huffington Post without be distracted by some idiot saying that telecoms need FCC support to fund network improvements.

UPDATE: Seems like AT&T is getting on message. Nice guys:

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